Decide to only drink the cream packet in my shirt pocket, then accept the mission and raise my hand for a fist-bump.

January 20, 2016 (Last modified Sun Mar 3 01:01 -0500)

I accept your mission, Macho Man,” you say as you raise your cream packet to the sky. You put the cream back like a shot. Macho Man smiles.

I knew you were the right choice for the job, kid. As you already know, your roommate John Cena went missing no less than two hours ago. He’s mastered some freaky optical-teleportation-bullshit that even I don’t know. He’s getting more powerful by the minute, Gregory. You need to stop him before he takes over all of Wrestlemania. I’ll talk to you again once you’re out of the forest.

And kid… Watch out for The Rocks.” You raise your hand for a fist bump, but Macho Man is already gone. In his place is a pyramid of cream packets. Where does he get these!?

Looks like your mission is clear: Get out of the forest. But which way is out?

> Drink every cream packet in hopes that it will somehow give you some sense of direction or divine inspiration.

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