Check the wardrobe, nightstand and under the bed for anything useful before going to sleep.

September 25, 2020 (Last modified Sun Mar 3 01:01 -0500)

You search the room for anything left sitting around. The nightstand contains a medium-sized plain-covered book titled “Wrestlemania’s Greatest” with a small “placed by the Gideons” piece of text in the corner. You flip open the book to a list of famous wrestlers, photos, bios, interviews, and other tidbits of information about them.

You start flipping pages looking for your friends, and first come across the page on Macho Man.

Randy Macho Man Savage was a wrestler famous for his leadership, gruff personality, and prowess in the ring. After many years of wrestling and community stewardship, he passed away from a barbecue-induced heart attack. His spirit was subsequently summoned by the community and granted eternal life as a ghost. He now spends his days as a nomad, wandering Wrestlemania. At time of writing, he was last sighted on the outskirts of lower Wrestlympus.

Friends: The Rock, El Disgusto, John Cena

Enemies: “Depends on how many more questions you got

Likes: Wrestling, baseball, hats

Dislikes: heart attacks

Does that say he was friends with John Cena? What? You’ll have to quiz him about that when you find him… You keep flipping around and find a page on The Rock.

The Rock is a mysterious wrestler from a tribe of his peers. Not much is known about The Rock or his origins. Despite or perhaps because of his mysterious past, he has gathered quite a fanbase. His popularity exploded after appearing on the front cover of WrestleMag with fellow wrestler John Cena.

Friends: John Cena, Macho Man

Enemies: Unknown

Likes: Unknown

Dislikes: Unknown

This is getting bizarre. Did your whole party know Cena? Why don’t they seem to remember much of him or his powers? You keep looking and find a page on El Disgusto. The page is completely smudged with some sort of slimy, muddy substance. “Yep, that tracks,” you think to yourself, before looking up a page on Mankind.

Mankind was a wrestler famous for adding over-the-top stunts and pyrotechnics to his stage shows. He passed away violently and spectacularly after being tossed off of his home ring, Hell in a Cell, by friend and colleague The Undertaker. He plummeted twenty feet and broke through an announcer’s table before subsequently giving a thumbs up - now known as Hell’s Thumb - dying seconds later. Mankind was later summoned by his fans and now lives out his days giving tours at Hell in a Cell, hanging out at gun stores, and drinking with his friends at many of Wrestlympus’s bars.

Due to the violent nature of his death, Mankind has often been asked whether he regrets doing his stunts, but has never given a straight answer. In a previous interview in Wrestlympus Today, we asked Mankind about his feelings on the situation.

Hell no, I don’t regret it,” he tells us. “Don’t have anything against The Undertaker either. That shit was crazy! The fans LOVED the thumbs up!” We asked him why he hasn’t been seen with The Undertaker since the incident. “Says he’s done wrestling. I tried to stop him, but that’s his business, not mine. Go ask him.” After that, he walked outside and started juggling fireballs. Classic Mankind!

Friends: The Undertaker

Enemies: Editor’s note: When we asked Mankind if he had any enemies, he started cursing out the interviewer, heard something outside, broke a beer bottle on the table, and ran away.

Likes: Stunts, Hanging with the fellas, his loyal fans

Dislikes: Nerds, bureaucrats

Guess that explains some backstory. It’s getting a little late, so you put the book down and explore the rest of the room. In the wardrobe you find some spare blankets, which you take. You peer under the bed, verify that there aren’t any monsters, and go to bed.

You wake up hours later with light pouring through the lone window. It’s probably time to go find that geomancer, but your options are open. What will you do?

> Go downstairs and ask the bartender who the geomancer is and where I can find him.

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