Suggest trying to climb up the facade to take whoever's inside by surprise.

January 22, 2020 (Last modified Sun Mar 3 01:01 -0500)

Why don’t we climb the facade?Macho Man looks at you like you’re stupid. “*What are you, stupid?/” Your hunch was proven right! Before the rest of your party can chastise your inane idea, El Disgusto shouts “Yeah, man!” and hops ten feet directly upward, grabbing the letter H on the large “HQ” sign sitting on the facade.

El Disgusto continues to climb, until he stops at the third floor, cocking his head and peering quizzically into the window. “Hey, amigos,” he shouts to your party below, “they doing construction or something in here? There’s nothing on this floor!” You and your party, using whatever bizarre muscle magic permeates this realm, scale the facade effortlessly. Mankind melts a hole in the window, allowing your party to enter the floor. What a useful addition to your party, especially at this point in the story!

Macho Man claps his hands again. “Alright gang, let’s elevate.” Your party calls and enters the very large elevator, which you notice is branded “Thyssencrunch,” and you get stuck next to the controls. You go to press the button for the top floor, but what you see baffles you.

You see a large list of floors and buttons on a scrolling, treadmill-like mat, paired with a wheel next to the treadmill. You scroll up to reveal more floors. You scroll up again. And again. You’re not making much headway here - You’re already up to the 400th floor. Where does this thing end?

You start spinning the wheel like you’re on the price is right, but you look just above where the mat enters the wall, and you see a button.

Looking closely, you see that this button was installed incorrectly. It should be the other way around and say “8” for the eighth floor- But wait, you’ve already seen the eighth floor on the mat of buttons.

This button is marked “”. You realize that this is, indeed, the infinitieth floor.

You press the button. The elevator begins accelerating upward and doesn’t stop. You have a feeling this is going to take a while.

You’ve got an opportunity to talk with your comrades one more time before you encounter whatever’s on the top floor. What will you talk about? Battle plans? The weather? Gossip? Random things that could lead to additional lore? Perhaps you’d like to stay silent? Maybe kick the doors so the elevator breaks? The choice is yours!

Your party is on the way to the top floor.

You have a prop pistol with one round tucked into your waistband and a lighter in your pocket. Your party’s shared bag of holding contains two candles, a depleted orb of darkness, six bottles of tunnel drink, an ornate sword, an ornate shotgun, a lot of ammo, even more cream packets, a ton of jewelry, a pound of buff gabbagool, a canister of whey, and whatever else I forgot about. Your 1992 Toyota Corolla is sitting directly outside the doors of HQ.

What will you do?

> Ask if anyone knows what "tunnel drink" is, or why the person at the Starbucks apparently disappeared.

< Previous page< Back to the start