Attempt to climb to the top of the tower while the Hooligans are distracted and use it as a vantage point to snipe them. If that doesn't work, charge in with the sword and gun at the same time.

February 21, 2016 (Last modified Sun Mar 3 01:01 -0500)

You climb the tower, and, for some inexplicable reason, try sniping Hogan’s Hooligans with your antique six-shooter. Predictably, this fails, and you call it quits after three wildly inaccurate shots. You decide to enact your backup plan and charge into the fight with your sword and gun.

After climbing back down, you charge towards the fight. You sprint towards the middle of the scuffle, climbing over the unconscious bodies of Hogan’s minions and haphazardly swinging your sword as you go. Your blade goes right through at least three of the Hooligans with no resistance. After you fight off the hooligans directly next to you, you look around to see how your colleagues are doing.

Macho Man is punching all the Hooligans around him with intense ghostly speed, and The Rock is suplexing at least five of his victims at once. El Disgusto is vomiting in all directions, covering his enemies with a surprisingly powerful acid. You go to shoot the mastermind behind all of this, but the Hulkster is nowhere to be found! Looks like the coward abandoned his crew of evildoers when he realized the fight wasn’t going his way.

After a few more minutes, your foes are vanquished, and all is quiet in the courtyard… Except for some particularly loud yelling in the distance. “What in the name of wrestling is that? It sounds like it’s coming from the holding cells…” says The Rock. Macho Man seems just as confused, but the thought of punching more enemies has piqued his interest. “Let’s find out. We just kicked at least three dozen asses, we can kick one more.The Rock starts to lead you and your compatriots to Hollow Hold’s jail.

As you get closer, the yelling becomes clearer, and much more irritating “JET FUEL CAN’T MELT STEEL BEAMS! IMAH FIRIN MUH LAZOR! GOOD FORM PUPPER! AHAHHHAHH!!!!” The voice is shouting memes. This is very odd. Your group seems unphased.

You arrive at the jail, and you immediately notice a strange, long-haired, feral-looking wrestler in the cell adjacent to the entrance. The wrestler looks at you and yells incoherently. Looks like he’s happy to see you. “NEW FRIENDS! OPEN THE CELL! I NEED TO COLLECT MY STASH OF RARE PEPES!!” Your squad is shocked and appalled. “What the hell did we just find?” says Macho Man. “I don’t like him either,” says The Rock. The feral wrestler starts yelling something to you. “NO… I KNOW YOU, NEW FRIENDS… YOU WANT TO FIGHT SOMEONE… AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA!!!Macho Man is surprised. “Now just how in the hell did you know that?” “I KNOW MANY THINGS, NEW FRIENDS… I KNOW HIS WEAKNESSES… I KNOW HOW TO GET TO MOUNT WRESTLYMPUS RIGHT NOW!!! LET ME OUT AND WE CAN GO GET THE POTATO SALAD!!!” You’re not convinced that this guy is trustworthy. “Who are you, strange fellow?” asks El Disgusto. “THEY CALL ME… THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR!

You don’t particularly enjoy talking to The Ultimate Warrior, but you feel compelled to ask him questions. Perhaps you should ask him how he plans to defeat John Cena?

> Ask the others in your party if they know how the Ultimate Warrior isn't dead and why he seems to have lost what little sanity he had left. Then ask the Ultimate Warrior to prove his loyalty before I let him out.

< Previous page< Back to the start