Join the druids in their ritual, and ask if they have ever seen Vince or Bubungo with their meat-based divination.

“*Hang on, you guys said you can see ‘through the veil’ and see everything, right? If you’ve been using this meat-based divination or whatever to see me, have you seen anything about President Vince or an ape called Bubungo?” The druids glance at one another for a moment before you hear their responses in your mind.

“ The meats allow us to see many things ”

“ We can see your allies, and your foes alike ”

“ However, the holy BBQ Codices say we cannot directly influence the chosen one ”

“ If you choose to participate in our ritual, you may gain some insight on those you have asked about ”

“ The meats work in mysterious ways, will you join our ritual? ”

You consider the druids’ offer, eventually deciding that you could use all the help you can get. “Alright.” you respond, “*Let’s see this meat ritual of yours.” You can immediately sense excitement from the druids in response.

“ He agrees ”

“ The chosen one will partake in the sacred meat ”

“ We must prepare ”

The pit druids suddenly disperse around their camp to prepare for this ‘meat ritual’ they’re so keen to perform. You notice one begins digging around in a wooden shed nearby, eventually producing an impressive, highly ornamented charcoal grill made of solid gold. As he begins setting up the grill, a second druid then enters the shed and emerges a moment later carrying a vintage VHS camcorder, which he then mounts on a tripod pointing at the golden grill. A third druid then opens up an ice chest and pulls out an enormous leg of mutton and places it gingerly on an empty picnic table in front of the grill. The three then hurriedly run around the camp, gathering a variety of different herbs and spices and laying them out next to the meat.

With preparations complete, one of the druids stands behind the picnic table with the leg of mutton, and one of the others approaches the camcorder. He then holds up his fingers, counts down from 3, and presses play. You then hear the first druid begin talking, for the first time hearing his natural speaking voice instead of having his words beamed into your mind.

“Hey all, welcome back to another episode of the BBQ Pit Druids! Today we’ve got something real special for y’all, we’re gonna be preparing the Sacred Mutton of Wrestlemania! We got this beautiful leg of mutton right here and the holy grill is heating up, so let’s get started.” Hang on, is he filming a cooking show? You and your companions stand off to one side observing the druids prepare this ‘Sacred Mutton’, narrating each step of the process to the camera in excruciating detail. El Disgusto appears starstruck, while you and the rest of your party simply observe in confusion as the smell of barbecued lamb makes you all ever hungrier.

Finally, after what feels like hours, the druids pull the cooked leg of mutton from the holy grill and place it on the table. “Now that there is a fine leg of lamb!” they continue to narrate, “Now, all that’s left is the taste test.” The druid behind the camera gestures for you to step forward, and you reluctantly join the rest of the druids at the table. “BBQ Pit legends say that only the Chosen One of Wrestlemania can consume the Sacred Mutton, and it just so happens that we have the chosen one right here! Go ahead Gregory, dig in.”

Never one to turn down a free meal, you lift the roasted mutton up to your mouth and take a quick taste test. The moment the meat hits your lips your entire body and mind feel as if you’ve ascended to Nirvana. This meal the BBQ Pit Druids have prepared is the very definition of divine, the meat is impossibly tender and juicy, and perfectly seasoned just the way you like it. Unable to control yourself you begin digging voraciously into the leg of mutton, and as you eat you lose all sense of the passage of time and your eyes roll back into your head from pure ecstasy. Soon enough you’ve single-handedly reduced the entire leg of mutton to bones, and with nothing else left to eat you suddenly feel yourself fall backwards into the grass and pass out.

You sleep blissfully for several hours, and in your dreams you see visions of roasted meats dancing before you. Eventually the illusory meats appear to coalesce into an abstract scene of vaguely humanoid figures fighting. On one side is a group of six very burly humanoid figures being led by one much shorter and skinnier figure, and opposing them is a single muscular humanoid side-by-side with a bulkier, more ape-like figure. Towering above this scene is a giant meat-visage of what looks like Vince McMahon, with long sausage links extending down from his fingers to both groups of fighters like puppet strings.

When you finally awaken from your mutton-induced stupor, you sit up from the grass and notice it’s now the early evening. Looking around, you spot your crew sitting at one of the picnic tables with the Pit Druids, chatting idly while eating racks of ribs.

What will you do?

> Tell the others about my meat-borne prophecy.

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