Down a container of protein powder raw, then try to fashion the branch into a spear.

April 19, 2024 (Last modified Fri Apr 19 23:50 EDT)

Thinking quickly, you dive at your pack and dig out one of the tubs of protein powder you bought in Loincloth. “Down the hatch,” you think to yourself as you rip open the lid and immediately dump the entire contents of the tub into your mouth, as friends and enemies alike look on in awe and fear. You choke slightly as it feels like you’re swallowing pure concrete, but once you manage to force the dry powder down you instantly feel energized and ready for battle. In a show of your newfound strength you manage to break the tip of your branch into a point and aim it at Hogan, who immediately comes to his senses and rears up to attack in response.

Before you have a chance to react, The Undertaker shouts “Think fast!” as he tightly squeezes the golden-colored orb in his left hand and tosses it straight into the air. The orb flies high above your camp and begins hovering in place, then after a moment it suddenly radiates with an intense, glowing light. You and El Disgusto both flinch and cover your eyes due to the intense brightness, and you hear Hogan stagger back in a daze as well. Your vision recovers just in time to see The Undertaker tightly squeeze the orange orb in his right hand, which instantly causes his entire right arm to be engulfed in flames.

Not wanting to miss your opportunity while your behemoth of a foe is dazed, you charge straight at him with your makeshift spear and land a direct hit into the center of his abdomen. While you swear you feel your weapon get a bite and dig into Hogan’s torso, when you pull back you find you’ve barely left a scratch. With Hogan nearly recovered from the temporary blindness you lunge at him with the branch once again, only for it to shatter upon impact with his powerful muscles. Dropping the shattered remains of your spear, you back away just fast enough to avoid a swing from one of Hogan’s enormous arms. Thankfully it seems the protein powder improved your reflexes.

Without missing a beat The Undertaker dashes out from behind you, strafing around the Hulkster and hurling fireballs at him using the flaming orb in his grip. While the mutant initially staggers from the impact of the fireballs, as the smoke clears it appears they’ve done little more than succeed in pissing him off further. He then lets out a blood-curdling scream and begins charing directly at The Undertaker. Apparently caught off-guard by Hogan’s speed, The Undertaker is unable to dodge and is sent flying back several feet by the impact, landing hard on his back near the middle of the trail and releasing the flaming orb.

Hogan rapidly closes the gap between himself and your incapacitated ally and raises his enormous, mutated fists for a finishing blow. Suddenly, El Disgusto runs into the fray and immediately vomits, covering the monster’s body in a potent, acidic bile. Looking on in disgust you can see his green skin bubbling and smoking everywhere the putrid acid has touched. The acid bath causes Hogan to yelp and immediately change his focus to your filthy friend, who responds by heaving a sticky brown pile of what you hope is mud directly into his face. Further enraged, the Hulkster charges at El Disgusto and decks him with an enormous punch, sending him flying into The Undertaker’s tent. The tent immediately collapses and falls into your campfire, bursting into flames. Hogan wipes the brown substance from his eyes and approaches the burning tent, but before he can get too close you notice the flames appear to react with the acid-burnt patches of skin on his body, forcing him to recoil in pain and back off. Leaving El Disgusto to struggle beneath the flaming fabric, he instead shifts his focus to you with a sickening grin on his face. This is not looking good.


You are currently in the wilderness, facing off against the mutant Hulk Hogan. While still energized from the protein powder, you’ve been disarmed, and The Undertaker and El Disgusto are currently incapacitated. Your opponent is injured, but shows no signs of slowing down. What remains of your camp is being illuminated by The Undertaker’s orb of light and the flaming remnants of his tent, and his orb of fire has rolled into the middle of the trail.

What will you do?

> Grab the orb of fire and use it on Hogan's acid burns.

< Previous page < Back to the start