Wake the others and get ready for a possible fight.

“Guys! We’ve got company!” you shout, startling your friends awake. The Undertaker pokes his head out of his tent to shout back at you, before spotting the approaching monster. “What’s going on… holy shit what the hell is that thing!?” he barks, bolting out of the tent with his coat in one hand to stand by your side. El Disgusto groggily stumbles to his feet as well, seemingly oblivious to the events unfolding.

The creature, now aware that it’s been spotted, snarls loudly and begins quickly bounding in your direction. As it gets closer you’re able to make out more details of its appearance; it is indeed an enormous, muscular humanoid, with dark green skin and no hair on its body. It also appears to be wrapped in patches of shredded clothing, as if its muscles somehow burst out from its clothes. Once the creature gets within a few feet of your camp it slows down, and in the light of your fire you’re finally able to make out its warped yet somehow familiar face. To your surprise, the creature calls out to you with a deep, guttural voice, and it finally clicks what you’re dealing with…

“WHAT’S… UP… BROTHERS!?”

This hulking monster is actually Hulk Hogan!

The twisted abomination that was once Hulk Hogan finally comes to a stop next to the campfire, directly opposite you and your friends. His breathing is labored, his face twisted into a warped grin, and his pale, soulless eyes are locked directly on you. Without thinking you instinctively reach to grab a long branch off the ground, while The Undertaker digs into his coat pocket and produces a pair of orbs. Hogan releases a deep growl and clenches his fists in response. Looks like you aren’t getting out of here without a fight.

You are preparing for a fight against the now mutant Hulk Hogan. The Undertaker and El Disgusto are readying themselves. You are currently holding nothing but a long branch, with your sleeping bag and pack of supplies sitting on the ground to your side. How do you proceed?

> Down a container of protein powder raw, then try to fashion the branch into a spear.